Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
