I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
