Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
