I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize