covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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