do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
