Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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