Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Randomize
