A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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