Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
