hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
