So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
