Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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