he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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