Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
