i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Everclear isn't food dammit
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
