I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
