toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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