I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
