It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
