Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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