How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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