Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
