the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
