she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize