Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
