we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
