Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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