Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
