She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Randomize
