Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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