I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
