You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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