I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
