no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
