Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
