and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
and you fell through a lawn chair
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
