We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
