you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize