it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
