my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
