i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Randomize
