I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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