Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize