My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
