normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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