season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
My bed smells like the plague
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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