This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
