She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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