Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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