sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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