I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
