Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
