Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
The feeling are messing with the penis
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
