"it" just moved
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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