belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize