This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
