Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
