My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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