There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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