i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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