Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
