my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
